My husband and I went to this university and he pledged this same club, and I was in a women’s club. I have mixed feelings about it all - clubs, pledging, who’s included, how people act differently in various situations. I was often shocked by behaviors and treatment I saw and heard about during pledging that I could not reconcile with living a Christ-centered life. I too think a lot of it was wrong. Thanks for writing this.
What a vulnerable (and beautifully written) story, Ryan. I’m so sorry for what you were put through. Obviously there are so many things wrong with how y’all were treated, but the way the Bible-major President (preparing for a life in ministry) engaged with you when he couldn’t control you is frightening. I knew guys like that in undergrad and seminary—it’s so deeply concerning that many of them ended up on powerful pastoral positions.
Thanks, Zach. Yeah, that’s a theme in a lot of this—many of these guys are preparing for a life in ministry. So many youth ministers, lead pastors, elders, etc. are being formed by this process.
Hey, Ryan -- fantastic (and sad) article.... am sad that happened but know there are way too many places in human interaction where we have to "prove ourselves" via some meaningless method rather than be accepted from the beginning with the proof being revealed through normal, daily interaction.
I'm angry we as God's people often don't accept and love those who are also created in His image even though God's love and acceptance happens just because we are His children.
Thanks for sharing, Ryan! I have great memories of you.....
Thank you for sharing your story Ryan. I’m so sorry you went through that. I appreciate your courage to talk about it. At my Christian college, the idea of forcing pledges prove themselves to get in was considered contrary to the gospel. Instead the sororities and fraternities did everything to try to woo us and tell us how much they wanted us to pick their group. Each sorority was paired with a fraternity and we spent much time together. It was built-in community from freshman year. I was a Delta Theta Zeta Dove. We were paired with a fraternity called the Eagles. Doves and Eagles. I just assumed other Christian schools would have a similar process. I was shocked when Sally told me some of the experiences that were happening at your school then. I couldn’t understand how a Christian school could do that. I’m so grateful for the experience I had. It gave me wonderful belonging. One of the things the president of my brother fraternity did my freshman year was tell me he saw leadership skills in me and invited me to be in charge of a holiday food donation campaign the Doves and Eagles were doing. I so wish you could have had the kind of experience I did.
Thank you, Karen! It was so shocking since I had grown up around Lubbock Christian University and it was more similar to what you described. I was not prepared for what happened as it seemed like a secular fraternity (minus the alcohol) with “Christian” added to the name.
There were plenty of good things the clubs did, like leadership development, it was just overshadowed by the whole pledging process. I also wish it had been more like what you described.
My husband and I went to this university and he pledged this same club, and I was in a women’s club. I have mixed feelings about it all - clubs, pledging, who’s included, how people act differently in various situations. I was often shocked by behaviors and treatment I saw and heard about during pledging that I could not reconcile with living a Christ-centered life. I too think a lot of it was wrong. Thanks for writing this.
Thanks for reading and the kind words! It sounds like the pledging process has changed significantly so hopefully it’s a more positive experience.
Yes, I think it has - our daughter pledged in 2019 and it seems much more contained overall. We were there in the 90's :)
What a vulnerable (and beautifully written) story, Ryan. I’m so sorry for what you were put through. Obviously there are so many things wrong with how y’all were treated, but the way the Bible-major President (preparing for a life in ministry) engaged with you when he couldn’t control you is frightening. I knew guys like that in undergrad and seminary—it’s so deeply concerning that many of them ended up on powerful pastoral positions.
Thanks, Zach. Yeah, that’s a theme in a lot of this—many of these guys are preparing for a life in ministry. So many youth ministers, lead pastors, elders, etc. are being formed by this process.
Hey, Ryan -- fantastic (and sad) article.... am sad that happened but know there are way too many places in human interaction where we have to "prove ourselves" via some meaningless method rather than be accepted from the beginning with the proof being revealed through normal, daily interaction.
I'm angry we as God's people often don't accept and love those who are also created in His image even though God's love and acceptance happens just because we are His children.
Thanks for sharing, Ryan! I have great memories of you.....
Steve
Thanks for the kind words, Steve! That message of acceptance is an important one in our Christian faith.
Thank you for sharing your story Ryan. I’m so sorry you went through that. I appreciate your courage to talk about it. At my Christian college, the idea of forcing pledges prove themselves to get in was considered contrary to the gospel. Instead the sororities and fraternities did everything to try to woo us and tell us how much they wanted us to pick their group. Each sorority was paired with a fraternity and we spent much time together. It was built-in community from freshman year. I was a Delta Theta Zeta Dove. We were paired with a fraternity called the Eagles. Doves and Eagles. I just assumed other Christian schools would have a similar process. I was shocked when Sally told me some of the experiences that were happening at your school then. I couldn’t understand how a Christian school could do that. I’m so grateful for the experience I had. It gave me wonderful belonging. One of the things the president of my brother fraternity did my freshman year was tell me he saw leadership skills in me and invited me to be in charge of a holiday food donation campaign the Doves and Eagles were doing. I so wish you could have had the kind of experience I did.
Thank you, Karen! It was so shocking since I had grown up around Lubbock Christian University and it was more similar to what you described. I was not prepared for what happened as it seemed like a secular fraternity (minus the alcohol) with “Christian” added to the name.
There were plenty of good things the clubs did, like leadership development, it was just overshadowed by the whole pledging process. I also wish it had been more like what you described.
>God wants *this?*
Now do this with bone cancer in children