The late Christian performer Carman was a diva who demanded certain types of pens

A wild story I heard while an inexperienced book publicist

As a book publicist, there were often misguided efforts to hold book signings for authors. I say misguided because they rarely had any impact on sales. But after building a relationship with the manager of a local bookstore, we started promoting more book signings at his store. It seemed like an obvious win-win: he got more customers into his store and we got some sales out of the event. But typically, neither of these things happened.

The manager of this store had also managed a book and music store in Nashville and had plenty of stories to tell. Most of the authors/performers he did events with were professional and kind. But one loomed large in his mind as a total diva.

“I shouldn’t say his name,” he said, clearly holding back some pent-up frustration. “OK, it was Carman.”

If you’re not familiar with Carman, he was a Grammy-nominated singer, performer, rapper, TV personality and evangelist. With one name—like Madonna—and the subtlety of a broadway performer, Carman was one of the most successful Christian music acts of the last few decades.

There’s no way to fully capture Carman. You might read his obituary from three years ago. You might visit his website. But perhaps the best way to understand who this man was is to watch him in action in the following music video.

Praise the Lord with your feet. The Crusades and the Spanish Inquisition were dark periods of Christianity but close behind is arguably Christian rap in the 90s.

Carman was a big deal. One of the first concerts I ever attended was the Lubbock stop on Carman’s R.I.O.T. (Righteous Invasion of Truth) tour when I was about six. A Christian artist making “RIOT” the theme of his album and tour might hit a bit differently in 2024, but this was the 90s. It was a big production with light shows, fog machines, dancers (the Christian kind) and a very charismatic performer at the center of it all. But what I remember most about the show was the video and performance of “No Monsters” because it gave me nightmares afterward.

Unlike the young Carman in the video, all fear did not fly away but perhaps it was because I did not break out in song.

If you haven’t gathered from the videos, Carman was a showman. And according to the bookstore manager, a bit of a diva at promotional events. The banner above his signing table wasn’t quite to Carman’s liking and he threw a fit about it. He was rude to staff. He also had very strong opinions about the type of pen he would sign with and made the staff bend over backwards to accommodate this request.

Because of this, the manager asked me to make sure I asked what type of pens the two authors wanted for their event.¹ Thankfully, the two authors we were working with were quite humble (we had actually foisted the book signing idea on them, not the other way around) and did not have demands on what the non-existent banner above them should display.

I can count on one hand the number of people who showed up for that book signing. Someone without hands could also count the number of people who attended. Because the number was zero. At one point, some friends of one of the authors were sighted. When the author asked, pen in hand, “are you here for the book signing?” the friend replied, “Oh, actually we were just here for something else.” That was perhaps the only interaction the signing table got.

No, we didn’t get any sales out of the event but I would rather deal with humble authors just happy to be there than an egomaniac who sells out amphitheaters any day.

1. Was this whole anecdote just a vehicle for me to write a post about how absurd Carman was? Maybe.