I met David Sedaris. And ranked all his books.

But I couldn't take a picture with him because that's not allowed.

Recently, I had the extreme pleasure of attending an event with famed humorist and author David Sedaris. I use the vague term “an event” because it can be hard to categorize what it is. Part book reading, part stand-up, part Q&A — the evening was a thoroughly enjoyable time with the author of more than a dozen books.

The night began with Sedaris sharing his thoughts on how dog owners have lost their minds — a true public service if there ever was one. There were also stories about African safaris gone haywire, family squabbles, airport misadventures and more.

Sedaris is also notorious for his book signings, in which he actually has short conversations with every person who goes through the line. This means you get some real facetime with the author. It also means the evening ends very late.

David Sedaris signs his books by drawing images with colored markers. I think this is a tree?

My friend and I probably waited over an hour to finally see Sedaris. He did not disappoint. We talked about things to do in Lake Tahoe, where he was visiting next. He also shared a joke I cannot repeat on this Substack.

To get a taste of Sedaris’ humor, here is one of his appearances on CBS Sunday Morning (one of my favorite programs because I am a 60-something retiree trapped in a 30-something body).

In honor of one my favorite authors, here is my totally subjective ranking of David Sedaris’ books:

1. A Carnival of Snackery: Diaries 2003 - 2020

Sedaris has kept a diary for decades and compiled his entries into two volumes of books. Sedaris travels widely and has lived in Paris, a small town in England and New York (among other locations). By 2003, when the entries begin, he is a well-established writer living abroad and traveling regularly. From anecdotes about his dysfunctional family to mishaps in Buhcarest, this book is perfect for the beach or vacation.

A sample entry:

May 15, 2018, Vancouver

A woman in her late sixties came through the signing line last night and handed me a copy of Theft by Finding. “I’d like you to write something special, if that’s all right,” she said. “My daughter is being horrible to me, has been horrible for a long time now. One day I’ll dies, and I’m hoping she’ll come across this book and feel terrible about the way she behaved. So how about something like, “To Barbara, I’m sorry Cassidy didn’t treat you better.’”

“Is Cassidy your only child?” I asked.

The woman nodded yes, and I picked up my pen. To Barbara: I was fascinated by your story of the infant son you put up for adoption all those years ago.

2. Theft By Finding: Diaries 1977 - 2002

A very close second is the first volume of diary entries. Unlike “Carnival” where Sedaris is more established, “Theft” covers a period of Sedaris as a struggling writer. He bounces from job to job, hitchhikes across the country, struggles to make ends meet. Through the entries, you follow someone struggling to find their place in the world and eventually achieving the beginnings of success towards the final years. While the overall tone is a bit different, there’s still plenty of humor.

A sample entry:

September 8, 1985, Chicago

The woman we’ve started refinishing woodwork for keeps a load of reading materials in a basket beside the toilet. These include Crochet Fantasy, Charisma (“For Dynamic Spirit-Filled Living”), Medical Abstracts Newsletter; Farm Computer News, and Jackpotunities.

3. Holidays on Ice

This book includes one of my all-time favorite essays, “The Santaland Diaries,” arguably the piece that helped jumpstart Sedaris’ career after reading it on This American Life. But there’s so much more. Another favorite is a satirical take on those Christmas newsletters people send out but written by a sociopathic suburban housewife whose life spirals out of control.

4. Calypso

I brought this book to the signing because it is one of my favorites. Calypso really demonstrates Sedaris’ range as a writer. The book contains a humorous story about traveling to the border to remove a fatty tumor and then feeding that tumor to a snapping turtle he finds near his family’s beach home. The book also contains more than one heartwrenching essay about the suicide of his sister and his grappling with their estrangement.

5. Happy-Go-Lucky

Sedaris’ most recent book is another shining example of his range. There are colorful, comical essays but also poignant and deep chapters that examine his life and family. Oftentimes, all of the above can be found in a single essay. Sedaris’ family is often a source of exploration, especially the complicated relationship with his father who died a few years ago. But I honestly couldn’t finish one of the chapters about his father’s creepy behavior.

6. When You Are Engulfed in Flames

This was the first Sedaris book I read and I believe it’s probably a pretty good first book to read if you’re new to the author. His attempts to end his smoking habit, trips to Japan, life in Paris and more are covered with his unique wit. There’s less range in this book compared to the later books he wrote, but still a fun read.

7. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim

I distinctly remember a friend in college reading essays from this book while we waited for our friends to join us on a day trip. That was probably my first exposure to Sedaris and I was mesmerized at how he could write in such an obviously non-politically correct way and get away with it. (It is still amazing how he has not been canceled.) This collection has some greats.

8. Barrel Fever

“Barrel Fever” has some all-time greats, including “Glen’s Homophobia Newsletter Vol. 3, No. 2,” which satirizes some of the discussions around gay marriage and “Season’s Greetings from Our Friends and Family!” which is the first instance of the off-the-rails Christmas newsletter I mentioned above.

9. Me Talk Pretty One Day

This book includes several heartfelt and hilarious essays about Sedaris’ childhood, especially his struggles in school due to a speech impediment and OCD. There’s plenty of anecdotes from his adult life, too, which makes for an enjoyable read.

10. Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls

I remember enjoying this book but couldn’t remember any essays from it until I picked it up again for this post. There aren’t the memorable anecdotes of Childhood like “Me Talk Pretty One Day” or the career-defining essays in “Holidays on Ice.” Just middle of the pack.

11. Naked

Even the books farther down the list are still filled with engaging essays I would recommend. When I look through the table of contents for this one, not too many stick out.

12. Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk

For some reason, essays written from the perspective of anthropomorphized animals just didn’t resonate with me.

NOTE: Sedaris also wrote a children’s book and edited a series of essays, which I did not include in my rankings.